I don’t get it!!!

I guess it’s just my big sister traits kicking in, but good grief: I’m angry! My sister is also my very best friend ever and I love her to death; unfortunately, she is TOO nice! That’s not something that happens very often, but it’s the truth…and if you know her you’ll have a hard time disagreeing with me.

This is the girl who insists on doing things that are extremely detrimental to herself for the sake of being nice to the very people who treat her the worst. I’m all for being kind, but there’s a point when it becomes obvious that you’re being used…

Case in point: A certain girl (we’ll call her Kathryn for the sake of the story) that my sister knows is manipulative, rude, and a total flirt (there are other words that could be used there)..and those are the things that her FRIENDS call her. Whenever Kathryn goes to a new place, she’ll hit on every single one of the guys that are there…and not only does she hit on them, she starts rumors about how these guys are all “eating out of [her] hands,” (direct quote). My sister has always been nice to her; if Emily has made plans to go ice skating, she’ll invite Kathryn every time. No one is ever surprised when Kathryn calls 30 minutes prior to tell Emily that she’s “found some other people to go out with,” (meaning…guys). If Kathryn calls the next day saying “Oooh, I’m bored, lets go ice skating! I don’t want to go alone, come with me,” Emily may tell her that she twisted her ankle the night before, but she’ll still go along just to be nice. This is all exasperating in itself…but I finally had it after Friday night. In our town we have this great thing called Artwalk every first Friday. Emily had made plans to go with my brother and another friend, but when Kathryn called to ask Emily if she would wait so they could go together, Emily said OK. Evan and the friend went ahead and planned to meet up with Emily and Kathryn once they got there. When it got close to the time when Emily and Kathryn were supposed to meet up, Emily still hadn’t heard from her (she was supposed to call so they could figure out where they were going to meet). She tried to call Kathryn, but she wouldn’t answer the phone. Thirty minutes later, Emily tried again, but this time Kathryn had turned off her phone. Needless to say, my sister ended up staying home that night even though she’d been looking forward to going to Artwalk for a few weeks. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Emily messaged Kathryn saying “Well, I guess I missed out on Artwalk, I hope the rest of the weekend doesn’t suck as much as tonight did. Did you go? Was it fun?” (a little passive aggressive anger going on there…good for her!). To my absolute horror, Kathryn messaged her back and said: “yea I did. And yes, it was super fun.” Oh my good gravy…not even an apology! Arrrrrgh! Why are people like this?

What’s sad, is that I’ve always tried to not show my disgust for this person, but honestly…this is not a one time mistake…she’s been treating people like this her entire life. If you talk to any one of the girls who know her they’ll tell you “Oh, yeah, I thought she was my best friend…but then this guy showed up and she was so mean to me.” She attacks people on a completely personal level, and wow, if a guy actually likes you more than they like her, you had better watch out! You do not even WANT to know the rumours that are being spread about you. OK…

Back to my sister, I don’t know why she lets people get away with things like this. She says “well the bible says to love your enemies.” That’s great, but what if your enemies are using you and making your life miserable. I mean, things like this happen and she’s totally bummed forever about them, but she continues to let them happen. She uses all of her energy on the evil people who know that she’ll let them take advantage of her…and you know why? She says “well I don’t have friends..” You don’t have friends because you don’t have time to make friends because you’re running around trying to make all of these jerks happy! *sigh* I don’t get it. And my parents congratulate her on how kind she is to these people…HELLO! DO YOU NOT GET THE FACT THAT THEY ARE USING YOUR DAUGHTER AND SHE IS MILDLY DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF IT?! OK…right then. End of rant.

Can anyone please explain to me what is going on in either of these peoples’ heads??

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3 Responses

  1. Emily is doing the right thing, you are supposed to forgive and then forgive some more, however that doesn’t mean you still have to hang out with said forgiven person.
    As for what is going on in the head of the “friend,” most likely a huge case of insecurity. Spreading rumors about others is a good way to keep people from talking about the rumor spreader.
    This “friend” needs a good talking to from a real friend.

  2. I admire my sister for forgiving her but like you say, she doesn’t have to go out of her way to hang out with this person…that’s what I don’t get. 🙂

  3. Okay Leah, I appreciate VERY MUCH your loyalty to Emily. She is a jewel, and I know you realize that. But what Emily is is very quiet and not as self assured as you are. She cares what people think about her and she wants them to be her friend no matter how wrong they are to her. And she’s so sweet that people take advantage. I agree with Julie that “Kathryn” is insecure. Thanks for sticking up for your sis. You are a good big sis!!

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